You’re teen is in the other room and you can hear their practice. Today, it’s particularly bad! These aren’t the skills you spent years trying to cultivate! It’s sloppy! They aren’t going back and fixing things. Your teen is just…. running through!
You know if you approach them about it you’ll stir up more conflict. Let’s talk about some ways that will get the best results.
Every parent child relationship is unique so don’t try to compare your practice relationship with other families.
If you get a lot of conflict when you make practice suggestions, you are not alone! Teens are creating more space and distance to move them toward their adult lives. Often practice is one of those areas where this is created.
Don’t say anything.
Teens need space to make mistakes and learn from them. Practice skills and responsibilities of showing up prepared are a good place for them to make those mistakes. How it feels if they are not as prepared because they didn’t practice the way they should have is an important lesson. These lessons are shaping how they will approach learning and responsibilities in the future.
Feel free to keep communication open with your teacher. Your teacher can be a great resource for knowing when to step in and when to step back.
This is a tip you’ve used throughout their childhood. Make sure that you have very specific tips and praise. More than anything your teen probably needs to feel supported and appreciated. However, general appreciation won’t get far. Teens are particularly good at knowing when it’s not specific and it won’t feel genuine.
Schedule a regular check in time where you can sit down together and discuss how practice is going. Maybe after each practice if your child is younger and moving to once a week sometime before lessons. Ask lots of questions and let your teen be in charge. You may feel at first like you are not getting very far. Most answers may be short. Having a regular check in time lets them know you are interested and will give the space for them to open up when they have difficulty.
Thanks for joining me on this Adventure in Suzuki Parenting and happy practicing!